Punch Lines

Two of the best ad punchlines that i have come across recently are

"Life's Calling, Where are you?" - Smirnoff

and

"When was the last time you did something for the first time?" - Emirates Airlines.

Herbal Beer!

People, this is one of the best oxymorons that i have ever heard in my life....A 'Herbal Beer'!!! Yeah thats right, an Indian doctor after 10 years of research has invented a herbal beer, but the buggar isn't gonna sell it in India! But still, for all those pot-bellied beeraholics out there, I'm sure there's respite!

Also, let's hope that guzzling a good portion of the beer gives us a 'high' instead of giving "tranquility and calmness" like all other ayurvedic products claim to bestow upon us!

P.S. Found this link through our fellow blogger Padmavathy.

Alarmaaaa!

Recently I had been with a friend to watch a show of Evam's latest production 'Chapter 2'. Now this friend of mine is generally very sensitive towards public displays of affection. She generally finds it hard to digest the fact that people could smooch one another or caress on stage!

As the play was progressing, she was tipped off by another friend that there was gonna be a hot, passionate smooch on the stage! Arrrgghh...her mind was racing, and she started imagining things and was sitting with the anxiety of every scene being 'the' scene!!...she couldnt control the nervous excitement until it finally happened!! And when it did, her internal alarms went on an overdrive!

As the scene was going on, she was mumbling 'Oh my god, i cant believe they're doing it...He's married, how could he?...I can only see, i cant hear anything...My mind has blanked out...It's all hazy to me...I can see smoke all around myself...Whats happening...' and was constantly looking around trying to judge other people's reactions to the same. In the meantime, I couldnt help but enjoy the show in front of me and simultaneously admire the mini-circus that was being enacted right next to me! :)

Movie Mania!

Just came back home after watching a special screening of the movie Hotel Rwanda at Studio-5. The movie was brilliant and worth a number of watches! Its not often that one sees movies with simple stories such as these so brilliantly executed. I was extremely happy with the fact that I rounded of my last 100 movies with this one!

As for Sathyam, the usual celebrity fest continued with Shalini, Richard, director Vishnuvaradhan(Arindum Ariyamalum), and a few other not-so-well-known celebs coming to watch the movie. We even got to speak to Swaroop Reddy,a member of the Sathyam family, to complain about the poor sound quality in this particular movie.

And as for the rest of my movies, here they come....

1.Anniyan
2.War Of The Worlds
3.Spy Game
4.Fight Club
5.The Last Boy Scout
6.Seven
7.Roman Holiday
8.My Fair Lady
9.Memento
10.Pulp Fiction
11.Matrix
12.Ayudha Ezhuthu
13.Forrest Gump
14.Aviator
15.Unbreakable
16.Shawshank Redemption
17.School of Rock
18.Hitch
19.Usual Suspects
20.American History X
21.Goodfellas
22.Big Fish
23.Saw
24.Kung Fu Hustle
25.The Green Mile
26.Identity
27.Before Sunrise
28.Animatrix
29.Crash
30.Beauty and the Beast
31.Before Sunset
32.Polar Express
33.Insomnia
34.Amelie
35.Indiana Jones and Raiders of the Lost Ark
36.Madagascar
37.The Butterfly Effect
38.Sin City
39.The Godfather
40.Sideways
41.Finding Neverland
42.Cinderella Man
43.The Untouchables
44.Love Actually
45.Reservoir Dogs
46.Ghajini
47.Kill Bill
48.AMADEUS!!!
49.The Interpreter
50.Kill Bill 2
51.Scarface
52.A Bug's Life
53.Shrek
54.Monty Python and the Holy Grail
55.One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
56.The Pianist
57.Chinatown
58.O Brother Where Art Thou?
59.Amores Perros
60.Motorcycle Diaries
61.12 Monkeys
62.Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
63.Rear Window
64.Psycho
65.Million Dollar Baby
66.Collateral
67.Maria Full of Grace
68.Shaolin Soccer
69.The Last of the Mohicans
70.A Fistful of Dollars
71.Kanda Naal Mudhal
72.City of God
73.Run Lola Run
74.Monty Python - Life of Brian
75.Almost Famous
76.Unforgiven
77.Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
78.CINEMA PARADISO!!!!
79.Chocolat
80.For a Few Dollars More
81.Jackie Brown
82.Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
83.Empire of the Sun
84.King Kong
85.Majaa
86.X-Men
87.X2
88.Sandakozhi
89.Lawrence of Arabia
90.Corpse Bride
91.Oldboy
92.Jerry Maguire
93.Elephant Man
94.Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
95.Once Upon a Time in the West
96.Requiem for a Dream
97.21 Grams
98.Talk to Her
99.Raging Bull
100.Hotel Rwanda

A majority of these movies are great ones and classics which are worth watching and re-watching! I wouldn't want to pick out any favourites cos there are far too many! :)

A Surprising fare

Today i had to travel from Kilpauk to Thousand Lights to collect dad's car from the garage. Since I had to catch an autorickshaw, i knew that i had to shell out anything upwards of 70 bucks for the distance involved.

But to my amazement, the first auto guy who came along asked for just 40 bucks for the entire journey! I was overwhelmed by this generous offer from a person belonging to a clan which is increasingly alienising itself from the general public....the auto men! They have become synonymous with their ridiculous driving etiquette, their exorbitant fare demands, and their brash attitude towards customers who try to bargain.

I took the liberty to presume that this particular guy was either drunk or doped out! He exhibited all indications, with eyes glowing a dark red and voice coming from way down below his voicebox, with a subwoofer like bass-voice. He didnt seem very enthusiastic and was constantly looking in the other direction while speaking.

But the fare was too irresistable for me to weigh-in other factors and immediately jumped in before my sub-conscious could tell me otherwise. Once the auto started moving, my mind slowly drifted away and I got absorbed into my own thoughts.

There was something rhythmic and periodical about a sound that shook me out of my day-dream. I woke up to the realisation that the auto was making some of the worst noises that any moving machine could make! Its joints were creaking like that of an old man's and screaming at me for having placed my entire self in it, thereby increasing its pre-existing burden of carrying itself around!

And the driver didnt wanna disturb the continuum either, so he chose to always ride in a straightish direction. No swerves, no cuts, and no overtakes either!..Rather unique...

By the end of the ride, I had received a much deserved workout, something that my body had been wanting for a quite a long time now. And trust me, travelling by a rickety auto in Chennai is even better than a few hardcore laps in a pool! It juggles you in every single angle out of the possible 360 and in the process massages every single muscle, bone and tissue in the body! It would be a wonder if the organs don't switch places!

The driver gave me a broad smile after receiving the fare, without any sort of disappointment. I still wonder what it meant!

Favourite Phrases

One of the best phrases that i have come across is an ancient Persian saying ...It goes like this...

"He who knows not, knows not he knows not, is a fool, shun him
He who knows not, knows he knows not, is a child, teach him
He who knows, knows not he knows, is asleep, wake him
He who knows, knows he knows, is wise, follow him."

And another favourite....

"It is better to be hated for what you are, than to be loved for what you aren't."

Aren't they amazing?

Zinda-BAD & Pazhaiya-pet

It's official now. Zinda is indeed a frame-by-frame remake of the Korean movie Oldboy, except for the ending which has been changed to suit the conservative mindset of Indians who would have protested violently if it was for the original! But every other aspect has been blatantly plagiarised by Sanjay Gupta who has become famous among ignorant audiences who presume he's done all the hard work. All his previous superhits have been remakes of famous movies and he even makes sure to copy their taglines!... Kaante was from Reservoir Dogs and Musafir was from U-Turn.

And the latest rumour is that the movie Pudupet by Selvaraghavan is a remake of none other than the brilliant Portugese movie called City of God(but it may not necessarily be true)!

I personally believe that Indians are the biggest plagiarisers of movies, internally and internationally! Ofcourse there are a few great and original directors, but the rest of them are just survivors. A paradigm shift is what's necessary for Indians movies to come of age. Directors and producers should stop looking at including commercial elements or heroic idiosyncrasies but instead concentrate on technical excellence and originality.

It's alarming to know that most directors write dialogues for scenes only on the day of the shooting and on the sets! Contrast this with the high professionalism of Hollywood, where each and every small operation is taken care of by an expert. I mean, in India, how often do we have specialist script/screenplay writers or casting pros? What we see most of the times is a boastful credit screen which screams out boldly:

STORY
SCREENPLAY
DIALOGUES
DIRECTION
"Mr.I-Know-them-all"

And then we also have these occasional starlwarts(whizkids) in the form of Karadi Man T.Rajendar who would spend endless rolls of film and numerous frames just to put his name under every possible title, including MUSICIAN, LYRICIST, EDITOR, CHOREOGRAPHER, ACTING COACH, POET ...and what not!!

Come on guys, give us a break! Is a movie about representing the beauty in the visual medium or about gratfying one's ego and garnering fame? Grow up India, grow up...And for those of you foreigners who do, please stop referring to all of Indian cinema as BOLLYWOOD!

My Monster name!!

Your Monster Profile

Infamous Nightmare You Feast On: Bananas You Lurk Around In: Corn Fields You Especially Like to Torment: Blondes

What's Your Monster Name?

Found this funny montster name generator on Shashi's blog and decided to take it up, although I haven't been tagged(Am I desperate or what?)!

Chennai Open - Part 2

Speaking of the Chennai Open, I forgot to mention my luck with tickets on the day of the 3rd round of matches. As my cousins and I stood at the ticket counter, debating whether to go for the 5o buck or 100 buck tickets, there was this lady announcing that she had tickets and that she wanted to give them to someone who was interested.

When she turned towards us , she judged our apprehension and candidly told us that they weren't for sale and that she had booked for season passes and wasn't gonna watch the matches on that particular day. She just wanted someone to watch the matches so that the tickets don't go for a waste! We gave a broad smile and accepted them gleefully!!!!

Ride Away to Glory...

Riding a bike in Chennai is quite an experience. As your bike travels over the cross-country like terrain you keep getting a "tot-a-tot-a-tot" feeling similar to riding a horse.

Inbetween the cool evening weather and the tottering, I felt like pouring out my emotions in the form of a song. So i took a deep breath, and starting singing away to glory, with just my heart for company. Just as i was going "Oooooooooohhhhh.....Aaaaaaaahhhhhhh...Lalalaaaa...." ala a soprano, there was this "eeeeeeeeeeennnggggg" and a feeling that something bumped into my upper palate!

Yuck!! What else could i do except rue over my rotten luck and try to force-blow the MOSQUITO out from my mouth! Thank heavens that I didn't close my mouth or try finding out what had landed, with the help of my taste buds! :(...When will India's civic amenities ever improve?!

Chennai Open!

A majority of thursday and friday were spent in the Chennai Tennis Stadium , witnessing the 3rd round and quarter-final matches of the Chennai Open! Believe it or not, this is the first time in the competition's history that tickets for the semi-finals and finals were sold out almost a week in advance! So much so that the shutters of ticket counters were permanently closed today, and will be tomorrow! So thats precisely why I'm sitting at home typing this, while the match is going on there!...*sob*...

All the matches were terrific with the sole upset being in the form of Paradorn Srichapan who lost tamely to an unknown player Kristof Vleigen. We were later informed that he was suffering from a left thigh injury, but one never knows. All we see is a new girlfriend accompanying these tennis stars, every other time! ;)

The personal highs and lessons from the two days were

1. I clocked speeds of 88 km/h and 111 km/h in the 'Serve Challenge' which is a fun competition where one is allowed to serve into a netted enclosure in the presence of a speed gun which measures and displays the service speeds! For a guy who's never caught a tennis raquet before, i was mighty pleased!

2. Truckloads of 'Mercedes' sponsored babes!!!! Everytime a match heated up, there a visual distraction to cool ourselves with!

3. Buying tickets at 50 bucks most often guarantees one a place in seats which are four times the price(how do u think i got to sit in the very first row !). Hint: Keep a straight face to the cute ticket-checking girls and pretend to know a LOT about the game!

4. It was very easy to shout profanities at Charu Sharma, being sure that he hears us too, and let him know that he's not the smart-ass that he thinks he is!

5. Learnt how to get all the attention by constantly supporting the player who's not the crowd favourite!

6. Learnt to swear at the linesman, who we presume are always erratic, while we conveniently forget the presence of a term called 'Parallax Error'!


Well thats just about it, and here's another BIG tip. Get to know someone who owns a Merc. Cos that way, you are guaranteed a few passes for the last two days along with a buffet dinner from 'The Park'!

The Year that was...

Looking back at the past year, it has been quite a mixed bag. But let me recall the brighter side.

One of the most memorable things was the trip to Singapore, along with just three of my cousins. It was my first ever trip abroad and very memorably so! It was the first time that I experienced the true taste of Indian(Airlines) hospitality, with all its stewards and hostesses openly displaying a hostile attitude! Upon any requests from passengers, they would bark, stare, scream, groan and mutter profanities under their breath , desperately supressing their natural urges to bite back...or atleast so it seemed!

There was this clash between a not-so-decent-passenger and a particularly snobbish hostess....

P: I asked for a non-veg meal but u have served me veg.
AH: I'm sorry sir. We have run out of NV meals.
P: Oh no, you've not. I'm sure u have hidden them away to sell it to somebody and make money!
AH: How dare u speak like that...You think we are that cheap...Blah blah...dishum dishum ...thump... thwack...

The guy was sitting there all the while having a smirk oh his face. He seemed to be enjoying the one-sided brawl. Perhaps that was his idea of in-flight entertainment!

-------------------------

And how could i forget my amazing 21st birthday! My near and dear friends had put in 3 days of painstaking work and effort into arranging for an amazing birthday surprise whilst i was boasting to everybody that i could never ever be surprised by anyone! So much for me and my mouth...

They organised a complicated treasure hunt, with decorative clues all over and around my house, making me sweat on-route to collecting the treasure! They even took care to play one of my favourite songs while i was just about to find my bounty! At the end of the day, i couldn't help the streams of joyful tears that rolled down my cheeks...I am indeed a lucky guy!

Happy New Year!

Here's wishing a very HAPPY NEW YEAR to all fellow bloggers!

The only resolution that I made this year was that I'm not gonna make one at all! I have never ever managed to follow resolutions, so what's the point?!